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Spam is fun, ain't it? |
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Gregory Morris, 1/28/04 10:56:41 am |
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Ok, I tried not to do this, but I couldn't resist. I am going to past a (big) block of text from a spam I just got. It actually came in through a spamtrap email address, which is great. The basic concept for this spam trap is simple... you post some bogus email addresses around, and anything that sends to them gets blacklisted. Pretty simple.
However, after the laugh I got out of this last spam, I might just want to let them through... at least until I start getting "V14gr4" and "Lowr yor Intrist Raate!!" ads.
Just a quick note before we begin, Beth mentioned that most of the spam she receives has poetry hidden in it. Spammers do that to trick spam filters, and apparently it works... I've just never seen them use poetry before. Beth, feel free to add more to that.
Anyway, here we go:
Signs from God. The Messiah comes. We have the end of the World and already 3th World war. The Mankind faces the Doom and as well the biggest ever experienced Holocaust. Each second Humanbeing ends up in the Pond of Fire. If the Messiah is not coming now (Jesus Christ, Son of God, King of the Jews), God will come as Devil-and Germany brought the entire Mankind into Hell. Owing to the Brandenburger Nazigate in Berlin every Human will be punished as hard as Adolf Hitler. That means Hell forever:Final Solution (Endloesung)
Everyone who doesn't call Mankind into Paradise has got at least the same much Guilt and Dirt at putting like Adolf Hitler an will be punished just as hard. The USA was sworn in to the Bible and is liable with the Final Solution (Endloesung) Death on the Cross forever-
The one who supports Wholesole murderers and Traitors- like especially the USA and other Countries did towards Germany-will be executed as Wholesale murderers and Traitors and sent to the Pond of Fire. Laughing Third Persons are even hardest punished by God
Since the USA bombed the Cradle of Mankind (The Gulf-War USA and Irak),is the entire Mankind condemned to Hell.When God`s Children are getting bombed,pays the Mankind with the Eternal Penalty. That includes also the USA. The Iraq is the Cradle of Mankind, Tigris Euphrat the Beginning of the Bible. Adam and Eve. The one who`s the Worldpower Number 1- as it happens to the USA-has got the Main Responsibility for the whole Mankind and is liable now even with the Final Solution. Death at the Cross- Hell forever.
If the USA belief that they could make War on their own account- then they have to count with the eternal Punishment. The USA bombed once before the Cradle of Mankind (1991 Irak) and is already condemned to Hell. But for to make a War needs the USA the Permission of God himself. Which will never be granted.
There were some great pictures that went along with it. Man, who sends this stuff out anyway?
I don't really need to say anything, do I? You are right, I don't, but I am going to give a play by play anyway.
3rd sentence: makes reference to a '3th' World War. Sounds fun. Kinda like a 'Nerf' World War.
4th sentence: apparently we face "the Doom". Wonder if IDSoft had anything to do with this.
5th sentence: somebody's been reading too much of Dante's Inferno... perhaps this person watched the Saturday morning cartoon version.
6th sentence: thats kinda hard to understand, but if you re-arrange the letters, it spells out "We, the people of Germany, hereby appoint Michael Jackson as our Lord and Sovereign Ruler."
7th sentence: does anyone else think they just ran some random german words through babelfish?
8th Sentence: sounds like a Star Trek episode... "The Final Solution"... Captain Picard and Data single-handedly defeat the nazi borg from hell.
9th Sentence: Ok, I'm positive they used babelfish now... but what do they mean? I'll convert it back to German and then back to English for the babelfish multiplier effect.
Everyone, which does not designate mankind in paradies, has at least the same many debt and dirt at setting as Michael Jackson of a will as strongly straight to be punished.
10th sentence: Yes, I believe in the last State of the Union, George Bush did indeed swear us into the bible, and pledged to make it illegal to be gay, black, or French.
11th sentence: I guess they are saying since we firebombed the hell out of Dresden, that we'll pay for it. I can see how they'd think that... Of course, if they don't shut up about it, we'll torch Dresden again. And we might take France as well just for fun.
12th sentence: I agree with this one. God should punish people who stand there and laugh. That way, comedians could take over the world by using the power of God to smite their enemies.
13th sentence: this is probably the most memorable one. Apparently someone got their history lessons messed up. Messopotamia was the cradle of civilization, not mankind. That would be Africa. Nice try.
14th sentence: yep, and since God's children keep bombin God's children, pretty soon, He'll be without any children, and He'll have to adopt some bonobos just to keep Him company.
15th sentence: mhmmm, sure it does. Didn't you know the USA was exempt from intergalactic trans-dimensional law? Betcha didn't...
16th sentence: Isn't Tigris Euphrat P-diddy's new record label?
17th sentence: I can't believe they spelled that right.
18th sentence: we sure are number one beeeotch!!! And don't you forget it! And we only have responsibility for raping the world of its natural resources, so don't give us any of that moral obligations bullshit.
19th sentence: hell forever... ya know, as opposed to a weekend trip.
20th sentence: bugger this for a lark. I warned you about mentioning how we might have to face the consequences of our actions. Listen, I'll give you a quick hint... we have more bombs than you, and they are more accurate than yours... So why not just get over it and accept that we can do whatever the heck we want.
21st sentence: Ok, lemme get this straight... you didn't need to tell us all that stuff before? You mean we were already condemned to hell? Well gosh, ain't that peachy.
22nd sentence: Wow. I thought I remember good ole G-Dub saying he had received permission from God. Or wait, maybe it was George Sr. I get confused.
Oh well... I guess I've played long enough. I just wish more people could enjoy the real pleasure of finding a good spam now and then. Sure, people criticize spammers for wasting our time/bandwidth/productivity... but really, when you have creative people like the authors of this fine email.... ok whatever. You don't care do you. You probably stopped reading this 2 pages ago. In fact, I bet nobody but me will ever see the last paragraph of this post.
Did I mention I only got about one and a half hours of sleep last night? |
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